Friday, March 25, 2011


It's supposed to be a secret
You promised you'll keep it
But you've been telling around
With confidence I won't find out
But I did be it sooner or later
I always did find it out.

It's not the first time
But I don't know really
Why I still trust you
Even after what you've done
After all the secret-spilling
Perhaps I believe you'll change
But it sounds ambitious now
'Cause it won't happen.

I'm not mad
I'm just disappointed
If I could keep my mouth shut
And keep your secret locked
Then why can't you do the same
Put yourself in my shoes
How would you feel
When your secret isn't secret anymore
And the one you trusted
Is the one spilling it out?

Thursday, March 17, 2011

Of nightmare & death

When I was young I always swore people to die whenever they got on my nerves. My siblings were always the victims of my swearing. But this one night I had a nightmare, a terrible one. In that dream I got a fight with my youngest brother when we were playing behind daddy's office. And he accidentally fell, knocked on the concrete drain and died. I know it was only a dream. But it really gave a great impact on me. I asked myself What if it really happened? What would I do? How would I feel? I was too scared imagining myself losing someone who's dear to my heart. And since then I almost never swear people to die. I was too terrified by the nightmare and I still am now. Whenever I feel like swearing people to die I'm reminded of that nightmare and it stops me from swearing. So I escape from sinning which is obviously a good thing for me. And I thank the nightmare for changing me into a better person today.

Monday, March 14, 2011

Host family

Pictures of us with our host family. Jill in purple and Bernadette (Bernie) in white.
Mdm Puvanes tagged along with us too that day :)

We went to Jill's house for a traditional English Sunday lunch last autumn ( 17th October 2010) and that was like 5 months ago. But still we are in touch with each other through email. And yesterday I sent an email to Bernie inviting them to our Malaysian Cultural Fiesta this coming 31st March. And yeah, they've confirmed they'll be there. That would be lovely since we haven't got time to catch up since winter. Bernie said she's also excited to hear about our winter trip :) Auw... she's lovely. They both are really lovely ladies. And I love that I'm meeting people learning about their culture and stuff.

Hope Jill is well 'cause she has just underwent a surgery. And hope Bernie will recover from the chest cough too. Much love for them.

Friday, March 11, 2011

Friends come & go

I take things seriously when it comes to friendship. If you think you wanna hurt or step away just like that leaving me wondering what exactly is going on, you better not befriend me in the first place. I don't like feeling guilty for the things that I don't even know. I don't like being curious and asking around if I've wronged you. I dislike people giving up friendship without any visible reasons. They say 'Friends are forever' but why do they leave without any notes? And stepping away just like that is simply rude. People like you don't deserve to be called a F.R.I.E.N.D. So pardon me, I'm giving up on you now. Thank you.