Tuesday, December 7, 2010

I have feeling too alright!

I know. Just because I'm being quiet people do and say whatever they want. But please...I'm being quiet doesn't mean I'm not hurt. It doesn't mean I'm happy. It doesn't mean I don't care. And most of all, I do have feelings too alright! If only you knew how it felt...If only...

And another thing,
sy sik suka org ngungkit. mun ko dah polah ya, dah la. kenak mok juak kamboh2 kedak owg len x penah polah. sy pun da polah, xda juak sy kamboh2 kedak awk ya. Mulut ya jaga sikit,iboh nak klaka skati mak bapak jak sik ngira owg. sy diam x bmaksud sy suka ngan cara awk ya okay? hormat ckit ngan owg, tangga lok awk ya sapa, sy sapa. sy diam sebab sy x kedak awk. Obviously!

normal human being,

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Dear People

Dear people,

It's okay if you wanna be religious. It's your business. But it's not okay when it troubles others. Do think of others. Don't just because you're not to do this and that, you force others just the same. And just so you know, I (in fact, we) hate the feeling of having to do things just to cover for others!

Annoyed me.

Friday, October 8, 2010

I miss her :-(

I miss my big sister!!! I miss her I miss her. Like seriously :-(
I think she pampered me much. Yup she does. She bought me this and that. Oh I'm a lucky girl. I wanna meet her! Fly me to Singapore please...flight tickets why la you have to be that expensive :-(

Wish I have pintu suka hati Doraemon. oh crap!

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

randomly random :-P

Bintulu trip was awesome :) Hallsen dear got to meet my family(except mumy coz she was still in S.A). Nenek balik2 puji c sen..ntah apa la c sen kc mkn nenek. c aki pun sama.hahaha..pancingan mengena kali :P
Green light it seems. Yippee! The rest of the story let I just keep it to myself.hihi

Bha...I'm too lazy to write long.

*Mode: malas mok packing! sy sikmok blit kowh*

Friday, July 9, 2010

Not-so-good granddaughter :(

It's so heartbreaking when I think about the fact that I can't really speak my mum's
language --> Bidayuh. Living together with my grandparents from my dad's side (since young) has exposed me to Iban language, only Iban not Bidayuh. And I know, I am being unfair as I'm closer to my Iban grandparents, Inik and Aki that I pour more love over them. Pity Sumuk. She didn't get as much love as Inik and Aki from me. I'm a bad granddaughter :( I used to blame my mum for not exposing us to her language, for not bridging the gap between us and the bidayuh family. She did actually. It was us who didn't take it seriously and there wasn't much efforts made. Now I regret that I did not master the language that I can't even communicate properly with Sumuk. She can't understand BM which makes things worse. However with the basics I have in Bidayuh plus the hand gestures, I tried to communicate with her. At least I put an effort right? Mum did help to translate. Can't believe that I'm ill-equipped in the language which is supposed to be my mother tongue but manage to speak another language, English I mean.Weird enough.

Lately, I've been told the old folks that I know have passed away, one after another. Being far away from home made me absent from their funerals. May 'they' R.I.P. is all I could say. These whole death thingy have made me feeling more regret. What if Sumuk's turn is next? I haven't spent much time with her let alone sharing stories with her. Since she lives in Bau, somewhere near Kuching and my home is in Bintangor, which is a 5-to-6-hour drive, we only meet once or twice a year mostly during Gawai & Christmas. If she's gone, I would face much regret. Regret for not mastering the language.Regret for not being able to speak to Sumuk. Regret for not spending much time with Sumuk. Regret for not giving much attention, care & love to her. Most of all REGRET FOR NOT BEING A GOOD GRANDDAUGHTER TO SUMUK.

FYI: In Iban,

Grandma= Inik
Grandpa= Aki

In Bidayuh,
Grandma= Sumuk
Grandpa= Babai

Inik (in blue) & Sumuk (in red)

I love you both though I may not show it.
I'll be back soon & I have souvenirs for you both.
I'll mend whatever there is to be mended.


Saturday, June 26, 2010


I never knew that I have more than one NATIONALITY until I live here, in England.Hahaha...

I'm Chinese.
I'm Filipino.
I'm Japenese.
I'm ... (waiting for the new 1)

I don't think I look like one, though. :P
It's not the English's fault, however, if they can't differentiate us (the Malaysians) with other Asian.
Just think about it. When we see any Mat Sallehs in Malaysia, we can't really tell whether they're Irish, Australian or British or whatever just by looking, right? Unless we listen to them & recognise their accent.
So I forgive you for giving me so many nationalities.
I'm a proud Malaysian after all.
Sarawakian to be specific :)


Saturday, June 19, 2010

Happy Father's Day, Daddy.

20th June 2010

Happy Father's Day, my dear Daddy.

I am and will always be your dedeQ that you're proud of. And daddy, sorry for being stubborn and disobedient sometimes. Everything you did was for my own good, I realised that. But daddy, I still dislike taking medicines. Don't force me,please.hehehe...anak Pharmacist tapi benci ubat.hahah! Anyway, I am happy & proud to be your daughter. You're the best daddy!

Yesterday I've been 'silly'. We (my friends and I) were in a pub in Salisbury. While waiting for our lunch meal, we talked bout calling our dad & wishing them Happy Father's Day. He said he'll be calling his uncle tomorrow. And I stupidly asked, "Why your uncle, not your dad?". "He passed away long time ago," he replied. I apologised. I felt bad and still feel bad now although he said it's okay.Huhu...Silly me.

It came to me that I'm fortunate enough to still have someone to call 'daddy' and that I shall be grateful. God bless you, daddy :)

Monday, June 14, 2010

Thanks for the Memories

It's been 4 years now. Time flies and what's left is the memories. Everything is still fresh in my mind, though. It felt like it was just yesterday we spent the night at Miss Nel's 'Condo'.huhu...
I miss the nights. In fact I miss every single moment we had spent together, from the pre Forum to the post Forum to the reunion. Most of all I miss you people.damn much.

We laughed.
We gossiped.
We got emo.
We cried.
We munched.
We sang.

O yea, we have a heart-to-heart talk as well right? Still remember that I kantoi that time. Mason, yea, it was you who started it. You took my phone just to check it out. And I forgot that I have just sent a text to someone. There you go, 'Delivered to: Honey' popped out when the phone was already with you. Damn! I was caught red-handed.
Apa gik, pecah la rahsia.
They got to know that I was back with that guy, the-not-so-grateful guy.
And that was when everyone has to talk about their private life, including Miss Nel.
Thank God! At least I wasn't the only one revealing my story. Hahahah!
I miss that moment! Can we rewind the time please?

Gosh, I forgot to tell.
D' Kenz (pronounced as 'The Kench') is our group name... I mean Forum group name.
And FYI, it's Forum BM not English.
Miss you guys like crazy!!!!!

Monday, June 7, 2010

Apa-apa jak.

Huhu...I should be doing the assignment now but instead I'm here, writing this post. Bosan polah assignment. sekda idea.huhu..mok pakey bhs swak la dlm post tok.lmk dah x tulis bm kpg.

Ku rs ku dah byk b'ubah kinek.Ku dpt rs. Dolok org tangga ku sbg bdk bait, nok org bangga nangga. Nok smua pun dpuji. Smua pun x brani ngaco. Smua pun mok protect mun da pa2. Smua pun x brani sebut benda2 jaik dpn ku. Cikgu pun suka. Tp kinek smua dah lain. Ku bkn gik miak bait nok org suka lok. Ku rs ku dah jd jaik. bkn jaik yg polah mslh sosial ya la. Jaik dr segi lain.

Ku rs mulut ku makin jaik kadang2 jak la, x juak salu. dolok neyda ku nyindir2 org. neyda ku main ckp lepas jak. neyda ku kuarkan kata2 nok x sepatutnya mun ku marah. Ku just simpan jak dlm ati dolok. Ku telan jak smua. ku simpan jak kdirik tegal x mok nyakit ati org. ku lbh rela ku yg sakit dr org lain yg sakit. Tp ya nang susah la. mun bsabar gilak, org pijak kwu. Org ambik kesempatan kat kebaikan kwu. sebab dak nya tauk kwu xkan nganok.

Tp kinek ku rs cara ku ya slh. ku x patut biar org pijak aku. x patut biar dak nya skati jak nyakit aku. x patut telan smua pa org polah (jaik) kat aku. ku xmok kedak dolok. x pandey pdh 'NO' mun org mintak pa2. dak nya mintak tiru keja rmh, ku brik juak tegal xmok org bencik aku. Dak nya brik keja ngan ku, ku polah jak tegal xmok knk bencik juak. tp apa hasilnya? daknya dpt juak nama padahal ya smua keja aku. x berbaloi nak? ku tlampau bait kali masa ya.

Kinek, aku pandey dah pdh sik mok mun da pa2 nok ku rs ku x patut polah. Kadang2 pedas juak kata2 aku kat org. mcm smua dah jd tbalit ngan dolok. Ku pun x tauk pa mok dpolah. Mun bait gilak susah. mun jaik gilak pun susah. Jd gney la? kta x ble nenga pa pdh org juak. X ble cuba ngekot palak org jak. Huhu..pecah palak pk (lmk dah x pakey words tok.hihi)

K, la..back to assignment. Bubye :)

Friday, June 4, 2010

A guy?

Honestly I miss having a guy as my bestie.
Not that I'm saying having a girlfriend is not good enough.
Feeling disappointed, am I? May be. A lil bit.

Sometimes, I feel it's less complex to be best friend with the opposite gender.
He doesn't envy you for what you have. Instead he's happy for you.
He's more open to talk to. The good thing is you're able to see things from a guy's P.O.V.
He handles thing rationally, without easily being influenced emotionally.
He gives you the chance to just let loose and have fun.
He's a brother to you, protecting you from any harms.
He's patient.
He doesn't bitch about you like the same sex did.
He's not egocentric.
Simply put, He's everything a girl can't be!

Mr you-know-who-you-are,
I miss you. I miss having you around as my bestie like before.
Like during our primary & secondary school.
You did fall for me.
But I said NO.
You were OKAY with it.
And so we stayed
as Best Friends.
I appreciate that.
It was for our own good.
For if we became lovers
Everything wouldn't be the same again.
And for if we broke up,
I'd lose not only a lover but also a bestie.
And I couldn't afford that loss.
I miss you :(

Monday, May 24, 2010

20 degrees

These few days the weather has been good to us.
Had our picnic at the Marjons Field.
Having so much fun running around & playing games (hahah) with Gaya's Marjon 1 mates & seniors.
Oh yea, I love the green grass & the blue sky.
weehuuuuuuuuu...feels like in heaven.

Check out some of the pictures here:

20 degrees is extremely warm for us!
Gosh! I wonder what it will be like in a 37 degrees???
But still, I'm excited to be home!
53 more days left till I meet my loved ones.

*Happy mode*
Bought myself a Jane Norman jacket.
hahha..there goes my money again.

Thursday, May 20, 2010

I miss you, Bestie

I miss gossiping with you.
I miss having heart-to-heart talk with you.
I miss laughing my heart out with you.
I miss writing in our diary.
I miss checking out guys for you.
I miss having a walk with you.
I miss driving around with you.
I miss texting you.
I miss taking pictures with you.
I miss every single moment with you.
I miss you much bestie.
I miss you
Melissa Usin.

I wonder when will we meet again.
Nda puas asai bgulai Mel. Ku ka baka suba where you, Elly & I always spent our time together, doing crazy stuff. But you know that I'm closer to you right.
No one is gonna take your place in my heart. Don't go changing hun.
You're my BFF.
Take care in NZ.

Thursday, May 13, 2010

The 5 & 10 things :)

5 things never to say to HER

1. She's just a friend.
For us it's bullshit! We see other girls as threat so you better note that down. You may say it's SELFISH, but we call it POSSESSIVE.

2. I'll call you tonight at 8pm.
Never state a specific time if you can't really stick to it. When you say 8 pm, we're expecting a call at that specific time. Not calling will only set off all sorts of interpretation. If you can't afford it then don't say it.

3. Did you gain weight?
You shouldn't even say this jokingly coz we'll take it seriously. We're self-concious by nature, we can't help it. You don't want us to feel miserable, do you?

4. My ex always/ never/ used to
Common dude! A relationship is difficult enough without the ghost of you ex floating around. We DO NOT want to have to wonder if she's better than us. Either get back with her or shut up.

5. You remind me of my mother.
If we remind you of her, then it's like you're going to marry your 'mother'. Crap!


1. Never lie coz we always find out.

2. We don't enjoy talking dirty to you as much as you enjoy listening.

3. Don't say you understand when you don't. It's annoying,trust me!

4. It's good to be sensitive, sometimes.

5. Don't make bets about us. It truly disappoints us if we find out.

6. Writing poems or songs for girls is really the sweetest thing ever.

7. Girls get jealous easily though we might not show it. If you can't afford to deal with the consequences (which might be terrible), then behave well :P

8. We love to feel special.

9. Stay on the phone with us even if we're not saying anything.

10. When we say we're okay, don't believe it coz we aren't. Talk to us. It shows that you really care.

Well, that's about it. I came across these things on the websites & found it interesting (may be not for you).
To some,it may not be true but for me, that's how I feel :)